hereinafter

Home is where your heart is
Where you can roam freely
And be at ease
With who you are and who you’re with
A home is a place
By the river of life
Where you can watch life pass by
Without feeling guilty
Where you can dip into its stream
If you feel so inclined
Or let all pass
Because you know you can go there again
Home is where you feel
You can sleep forever
And wake up in the morning
To find everything there
Where you left it the day before
Home is a place
Where you are a part of something
And less of nothing
Home is where you’re
Part of an ongoing conversation
Where you have as much to say
As anyone else
And where you can choose to say nothing
Home is a place
Where you can look into the mirror
And recognise the person you are looking at
Not because you are the person standing there
But from all the other times before
Home is a place where you can put something down
Because you mean to leave it there
Home is place where you can hang a picture
Or place flowers in a vase
Or move a piece of furniture
Because this is you and yours and not someone else’s
Home is where you heart is
Because you mean it to be there
And not elsewhere
Home is a place where you can smile
Because you mean it to be
Home is home
Because you know it knows your secrets
Knows your thoughts
Knows your dreams
Your home is a place
Within and not without.
Home is where you heart is
Home is sweet
Home sweet home…

I knew you weren’t going to be here today
You had already told me so
And even though
I still looked around the room
And across the sea of all those faces
To see if I could find you anywhere
I looked
But you weren’t there.
In that moment
Suddenly realised
That for all my life
Maybe
I’ve been looking for you

Having travelled
Across the length and breadth
Of southern Africa
Having travelled that regions’s every highway and every byway
Through it’s country towns
And from one place to the next
Through Swartberg and over the Outeniquas
And back out of the Hex River Valley and across the Karoo
I’ve been looking for you

From the earliest days
In some co-ed junior school
Along its corridors and past its class rooms
On the playing fields and the long walks home
I’ve been looking you

Sauntering through shopping malls
Taking a seat in a popular restaurant
Or in the sedate seclusion of some opulent coffee shop
To leaning up against the green wooden barge boards
On Durban’s North Beach
Or walking across to Addington
Looking into every face
And surveying every shape and curve in a bikini
I’ve been looking for you

Taking country walks
Hiking across high mountain passes
Strolling on through local rural fishing villages
Browsing through the flea markets
In Greenmarket Square and the Market
I’ve been looking for you

Riding the London Underground
Commuting in from Goring, Henley and Reading
Through every station
Through Camden Market
Back to the Barbican
On to the South Bank
And all the other dives and venues
Where I was taking pictures
I was looking for you

Talking walks up to Mount Royal
Striding through the underground passages linking up central Montreal
The walk from Dawson College to Downtown
And across to Old Port and the banks of the mighty St Lawrence
I was looking for you
The venue didn’t matter
Nor did the event
Whether it was on the streets around Places des Arts
In the theatres there
Across the road to where the Metropole used
Down the way to the National
And on to Emile Gamelin
Over at Old Port and across to Parc Jean Drapeau
And whether it was the concerts there
Or for the fireworks
I was looking for you

There was no rest in New York
Down there in the subway stations
And while waiting for the next coach
Looked at and into every face
Did the same in Grand Central Station
Up on Broadway and along the Avenue of the Americas
Paris was no different
Nor were the airports in
Hong Kong and Heathrow
Pierre Trudeau and JFK
Shanghai and Manila
And everywhere
You were nowhere to be found

The ferry to Macau and along its narrow streets
The boat ride up to Wuhan
The bus trips across to Yangshou
To the valleys and the farms there
The train rides to up Guizhou and on to Chongching
The ferry ride down the Yangtze to Wuhan
And then the ride up Luizhou
While I saw many people in this time
You were nowhere there

As the last time and this time
I took to the streets of Shanghai
I took their metro
Walked along Nanjing Liu
Walked along Century Aveue
Took rides to the tops of their highest buildings
And
In all of these places
You were nowhere to be found

There was a time where
In this very room
I looked across this sea of faces
And
You were nowhere to be found
And then
You smiled
And there I knew
I knew I had found you
Then, when the last time we saw each other
Down there in the ground floor lobby
And you waved your royal wave
I smiled quietly
For there I knew
I knew I had found you.

Of all the thoughts
I had to choose and pick
Not one of them seemed to stick
Some pretty silly, willy-nilly
Oh, so dilly
Some lost, others profound
Unfound, unbound like a leaping hound
I frowned
Oh so pretty, witty, pity, petty, pretty
Ever clever never ever
Lekker soos n cracker
Skip, skop met n dop
They come and go in this flow
Some rushing, gushing, flushing and blushing
Splashing and dashing
Crashing and the smashing
Oh, go so slow
Oh so low
Now open the door
They’re all over the floor
What’s the score, is there more
Your thoughts, my thoughts
My thoughts and your thoughts
And whatever else in between
Detect, inspect, select, reject
And whatever else in between
Who dares, who cares
Get real, heal and feel
To amuse, fuse, abuse, refuse, confuse
Of all the thoughts I had to choose
Like balloons
Tens, hundreds and thousands of them
All those thoughts and all those noughts
In colours of all sorts
Reds and blues and all those hues
Yellows and greens and all them sheens
And, oh my spleen
Of all the thoughts I had to choose
Which ones to pick and stick
The rude and the prude
The lewd and the fluid
The glad, the sad and the not so bad
Glancing and chancing – it’s all about the dancing
Staying and playing – it’s all about the praying
Of all the thoughts I had to choose
Oh my lord, oh so broad
They stick and stuck and grew
Just like some gummy stew
Adding to this and adding to that
The split and the splat and all of that
Of all the thoughts I had to choose
Could have said
I love you, I hate you, I wanted to date you
Could have baited you and pleased you and teased you
Yes, like the fleas that tease in the high Pyrenees – but that’s already taken
As has, take this longing from my tongue
So to, all these useless things my hands have done
Your life, my life, who mentioned a wife
Trouble and strife, oh my life
No pain, no gain
Oh let it rain
Of all the thoughts I had to choose
Could have asked you and told you and sold you
Could have held you and beheld you
Puzzled you and nuzzled you
Oh my guide, oh my bride, oh my pride, oh what is this
Fraught, distraught, comfort
How inane, how insane
Ugh, what a pain
Make it plain
Make it plain
But, of all the thoughts I had to choose
I just chose two and this for you
Of all the thoughts
I had to pick and prick and pop
Was me asking
Jst hope u r comfortable in d b/hauz dr
Or more to the point,
Dat u r able 2 enjoy a few days “freedom”
@ ds tym? Take care.
This in a text message
I ask you
Of all the thoughts there to choose
Oh why this and not that – splat!

Today, when you walked into the room
I didn’t recognise you at first
This in the way you had done up your hair
And in the way you had made up your face
But
Your smile said it all
It revealed where you were
For a moment
In that moment
The whole room came to a standstill
My whole world came to a stop

In thinking about this later
This moment
Reminded me of another
A time when an explosive device
Went off in my hand
There, the world came to a standstill
Time stopped
I saw this orange ball of fire
Erupting in my hand
And
Moment by moment
Fraction by fraction
Frame by frame
It grew and grew
I closed my eyes before the blast hit my face
What happened thereafter
Is neither here nor there
Its not that devastation I refer to here
But rather
That stopping of time
In that moment
That very moment
Everything in that room
Where we stood
Stopped
Standing still
Nothing moved
Every sound muted
Every conversation halted
And through all this,
Just the brilliance of your smile.

In some ways
You’re no more than a profile
On a Facebook page
And the words I find on your wall
In other ways
You’re more than the sum
Of all your Facebook pictures
And all the words and verse you have there
You’ve become the other voice in my head
A constant companion
Someone to share things with
A notion
A motion
And a guide
Something I can look forward to
Someone who is here
And someone who is there
And someone who is everywhere.